Sunday, 9 October 2011

My friend is pregnant. Again. It's weird how in three years things have changed so much! We are four girls who are best mates - all getting ahead in our career and living for holidays, cocktails and good times - that is until one of us announced she's expecting!! And she HAD to announce that just when we were on our way to a girlie holiday - dont get me wrong, we were SO HAPPY for her but it kinda flattened the bubbles in our champagne glasses as she had to stick to water and early nights through the rest of the hols.....
So, now she's preggers again. I'm kinda jealous of their stable life, with loving husband, cute kid, house.... jobs where they are not required to stay till midnight to reach deadlines and crazy requests from Clients!
I, on the other hand, have NOTHING stable - I have no material possessions, I've moved house 6 times in the past five years alone - I feel like a gypsy with no roots, I dont know where to settle down eventually - if I do want to settle down that is. The only thing constant in my life is my job. How sad is that? I do love what I am doing, it's exciting, inspiring - and some might even say glamorous - but am I heading for another burnout yet again by working around the clock? I am the idiot thinking I'm doing something good by busting my behind off when others enjoy time with their families, share love and live their lives. Time to get on with that 'List' which I call a 'Life Plan' for the next 3 years.

My housemate today asked me what is Aloe Vera, 'is it a fruit'?


Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Walking home from work today after a looong and shitty day. A guy, about 15yrs gives a mighty old wolf whistle - so I'm still visible... that's good. Smile.
Another smile when got back home - flatmate goes: 'I think i was born fat'. Classic.
I think I'll continue playing my Ukulele. I named George.
JE x

Monday, 26 September 2011

Somehow can't feel but a bit 'left' behind - I'm in my thirties and still sharing a flat? Shouldnt I be having my own flat, preferrably OWNING it, not renting - or some sort of space to call MY home? Instead, I'm sharing my space with a psycho party girl, who on Monday evening, when I come home, is still buzzing from the weekend - her eyes size like my dinner plate I'm going to have my canned sardines from (salmon had gone off in the fridge, really was looking forward to it....) - on the other side I  have a bloke who's glued to his laptop screen, scoffing down Tesco's pizza's almost every day thinking when you add pieces of shred salami & tabasco on  it, it somehow makes it 'home made'? I feel I'm getting dumber by the bloody day.... Need to get out!!

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Hello :)

Right. It's my first attempt on blogging. I have been following from the sidelines some of my friends blogs, but never got the blog-bug myself... until now that is. I guess it started when I hit the 30's four years ago, and my life became increasingly complicated (or maybe I am just making it complicated, go figure) - and I think I have just come to a point I need somewhere to vent out my feelings and thoughts, and find people in similar points in their lives... I dont know. Let's go with the flow and see what happens! :)

I moved to London in 2006, and little did I know my life would be turning upside down in a matter of six months. My long term relationship with my perfect partner would be ruined in a most disasterous way imaginable (all because of me and my 30yrs-crisis... surprise surprise), everything I thought about myself until that day I would question and find out I really didnt actually know myself - throw in an affair which developed into another serious relationship, immense pressure from work and demanding career, partying and late nights, and a recipe for a meltdown would wait four years later in form of a burn-out.

Now, nine months after recovering from a complete exhaustion, I am slowly starting to claw myself back to the books of 'normality' - whatever that is... But, I'm scared, because for the first time I am completely alone (well - technically we are on a break, but the 'Talk' will change this, and we both know we have come to the end of the road) - and even though I am really enjoying it I find myself shitting myself of the thought of having to go thought everything by myself? Then again, why the hell not?? I'm a strong, independent, capable woman - why would I need a man to guide me through stuff?? Yes... why? :)

Lots of love from me xxx